


Mirrored Pasts

by LadyKasai



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Oral Sex, Past Child Abuse, Sexual Content, Triggers, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-03-30 15:15:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3941575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKasai/pseuds/LadyKasai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a Daryl x Reader fic. You had a rough start in life, but you found a safe haven in the Greene family. If it wasn't for them you don't know where you would be. When the world ends, there isn't anywhere else you'd rather be. When a new group shows up at the farm, you will do what ever it takes to keep your family safe, though you still want to help. And you can't deny the pull you feel to the man who seems to distance himself from the rest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

**A/N: So I am a full on Bethyl shipper, but I wanted to try a something different. This is a Daryl x Reader fic where you are the main character. Its going to start during season 2 at the farm and continue from there. Beth and Maggie are your best friends. I hope you all enjoy!! :D**

***I do not own The Walking Dead or any of it Charaters***

**(also, not everything is going to happen exactly as it had in the show so if you don’t like that then you don’t need to read lol)**

You watched from the doorway as Hershel got to work on the pale child with the bullet wound. Poor Otis felt awful and didn’t know quite what to make of the whole situation. You glanced at Beth and saw the worry in her eyes, but she wasn’t looking at you, she was watching the child’s father. He looked so lost, scared, and confused. You reached over and grabbed her hand and squeezed softly, giving her comfort since Maggie was out looking for the rest of the man’s group.

 

“Y/N.” You looked up as Hershel nodded his head for you to join him. You quickly made it to his side, ignoring the twisting of nerves in your stomach. Helping him during a surgery wasn’t new to you, you had worked at his vet clinic for years, though surgery on a person was not something you had trained for.

 

“Can you handle this?” he asked softly. Apparently your worry showed more than you realized so you took a deep breath and reigned it in. You never let anyone see you weak, and you weren’t about to start now.

 

“I’m good.” You looked to Hershel and nodded and helped where you could as he worked to save young boy whose name you learned was Carl. You knew you were in for a stressful few  hours.

 

Once Hershel had done all he could you went upstairs for a much needed shower. Your stomach was still churning as you replayed everything in your head.

 

Though you had been wearing gloves, you still felt as though you had blood on your hands and it made your skin crawl. You scrubbed your skin ignoring the stinging feeling as it became raw. You felt the tears welling up in your eyes and grew frustrated. Crying wasn’t something you did anymore. You didn’t let things get to you. But at least no one was around to see it. You could never let that happen.

 

If Beth and Maggie knew you were thinking like that, they would probably smack you. But they just didn’t understand it. You didn’t have the life they had growing up. If it hadn’t been for them, you probably never would have known what it was like to be part of a family. Though you weren’t related by blood, they were the closest thing you ever had.

 

Taking a deep breath you exited the shower and got dressed and pulled yourself together. You heard a rumble coming from outside and knew that the rest of Ricks group must have arrived. As you came down you heard Hershel introducing everyone hesitated before you walked out. Large groups weren’t really your thing.

 

As you walked out onto the porch, you could feel the gazes of the newcomers on you but hid your nerves well. “This is (Y/N). She is family.”

 

You smiled at Hershel softly. You always felt a little happier when he referred to you as that. He never stated what your “title” was, just that you were family, cuz in his mind that was all that mattered.

 

Scanning the group you realized that they didn’t seem too bad. The blond woman seemed a little on edge, but who wasn’t now-a-days. Then you spotted the older woman, she seemed so broken and lost and you felt pity in your chest. You knew those feeling all too well. You saw a man take a closer step to Rick and made eye contact with him, and immediately you felt unease. He just looked sketchy, you couldn’t tell what it was but there was something in his eyes that made you squirm. Looking away quickly you saw a member of the group on his motorcycle, he had some distance between himself and the rest of the group, seemed like he may not be comfortable with people either, but you couldn’t seem to look away. Something about him called to you. He didn’t seem to notice you staring until Hershel cleared his throat.

 

You jumped slightly and blushed looking back to Rick who had apparently said something to you.

 

“I’m sorry, what?” you mumbled.

 

“It’s nice to meet you officially.” He repeated, “Thank you for helping with my son.” He and his wife Lori both gave you warm smiles that you returned reluctantly. You were starting to get uneasy from the attention.

 

Maggie had moved to your side and elbowed you slightly and you realized that you hadn’t responded.

 

“Oh, uh no problem.” You said holding your head high. You felt ridiculous for the way you were acting. _Pull it together!_

 

Hershel began to address the group again about them staying. You knew it wasn’t exactly what he had intended to do, but he was never one to turn someone in need away. You knew that from experience, and it was something you admired about him.

 

As the terms of their stay were set everyone began to go about their business and you glanced back to the man who seemed to keep to himself and saw he was watching you.

 

Refusing to let him see you squirm, you nodded and turned to follow Maggie and Beth into the house. You couldn’t explain the feeling you got when you looked at him, and if this was how it was going to be every time you saw him, things were going to get interesting.

 

_A/N: Okay guys, this is a preview type thing, if you think it seems like its going in a good direction please comment and let me know._


	2. Decision Made

**A/N: I hope you all like it! Just remember, its going to follow the general path of the show, but some things will happen differently. :D Also, looking for a beta for Walking Dead stories that I do. If you are interested let me know!**

***I do not own the Walking Dead or its Characters***

**Chapter 2**

Rick and Lori looked distraught. Their son needed surgery, and not just a simple little one, and Hershel didn’t have the equipment he needed. Their group members Shane, Daryl, and the older man, Dale, all stood in the room. The air was thick with tension and uncertainty. Everyone silent as they fully processed what Hershel was saying.

Maggie and Beth and gone to help the rest of the group get settled, but you assured them you would stay with Hershel. These people seemed okay, but you weren’t taking any chances yet.

You look from one member of the group to the other. You knew what Rick and Lori were thinking, they didn’t want to lose their son. Shane stared at Carl in the next room then glanced towards Rick. You noticed his eyes darken then he saw Loris hand wrapped tightly in Ricks.

 _Interesting_ , you thought. Clearly something was going on there. You looked to Dale next and he just looked overwhelmed. You could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to find a solution.

Lastly you looked to Daryl. He looked almost nervous, like he was itching to get away from all the emotion swirling around the room. His thumb to his mouth as he chewed on the nail. You noticed his eyes always going back to Carl, then to the door. And that’s when it hit you. He was worried, not just for the boy in the bed, but for the little girl that they were searching for.

You glanced at Hershel and knew what he was thinking, but didn’t want to say, so you decided you would say it for him. You wanted to do it for Carl. He was just a kid, but you knew Hershel was not going to be very happy with you. Taking a deep breath, you put a plan in motion.

“There’s a hospital about 20 miles North of here.” You hesitate, glancing at Hershel. His jaw was clenched. _Yup, he’s mad._

“I can get there and back by tonight if I leave now.” You could feel everyones eyes on you and looked up and locked eyes with Daryl before glancing to the rest. You couldn’t pinpoint what you had seen in his eyes, but it made your stomach flip.

“Absolutely not!” Hershel stood abruptly and pinned you with a firm stare. You didn’t break eye contact with him. He knew once you made up your mind there was nothing he could do to stop you, but that wasn’t going to stop him from trying.

“We can’t ask you –“ Rick started before you cut him off.

“You aren’t asking.”

“And you aren’t going.” Hershel stated firmly again.

“I’ll go with her.” You looked to Otis in shock. Usually he sided with Hershel when he said no. “This is my fault, I owe it to them.”

Patricia whimpered and reached for Otis’s hand. “No.” she whispered.

“I have to do this.” He wrapped his arms around her and she buried her face into his chest.

“I’ll watch his back Patricia. Promise.” Your voice didn’t waver. You would do whatever you could to make sure he made it back. After all, this was your idea.

“And I’ll watch yours.” Your eyes shifted to Shane and you had to fight the grimace fighting to take over you face.

“Shane,” Lori reached for his hand and he grabbed hers all too willingly.

You had no proof that he wasn’t a good person, so you simply nodded and walked to Hershel wrapping him in a hug.

“I’ll be fine Hershel.” You whispered in his ear. He squeezed you back tightly. You knew he didn’t like this, but he wasn’t going to keep fighting you.

“You better.” He whispered. Then to the group added, “I’ll get you some supplies ready.”

“It’s a very nice thing you’re doing.” Dale looked at you with a soft smile, before following Hershel and offering his help. You found yourself smiling back. You liked him.

“I’ma keep lookin for tha kid.” Daryls southern drawl sent a shiver down your spine and you wanted to slap yourself at the reaction. Now was not the time nor the place. You had to get a lid on your hormones. It didn’t help that you hadn’t been around a male you found attractive since this whole thing started.

“I’ll go and get some of my own things together.” Shane nodded to everyone before leaving, Rick and Lori right behind him, you assumed to talk to him in private. Daryl stood and headed to the door but paused for a moment as he passed you.

“Good luck, an’ keep ya eyes open.” He mumbled before continuing.

You stood dumbfounded. Daryl didn’t seem like the kind of guy to offer luck, and that only made the warmth in your stomach grow. Then you thought of his words.

 _Keep your eyes open?_ Did he mean walkers, or did he sense something off with Shane too?

You shook your head to clear those thoughts. You couldn’t think about that right now. You needed to focus, it wasn’t just you that was going to be at risk. You needed to focus for Patricia. Otis had to make it home.

This was your idea. If anything went wrong it was on you.

***Daryl POV***

Daryl couldn’t make sense of it. This girl didn’t owe them anything, yet she was offering to go out to a place that was probably overrun, just to help. And now Shane was going which made his gut clench. Something was up with him, and he didn’t like the thought of him out there with (Y/N).

_What the hell? Why should I give a damn. I don’t even know this girl._

He shook his head, she had surprised him. And he couldn’t deny the pull he felt towards her. She was beautiful and every time he met her (eye color) eyes he wanted to pin her down and take her.

But that wasn’t him. He wasn’t the kind of person for relationships. He was too damaged. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to be anxious waiting to see if any of them would return. If she didn’t, then she was just another dead girl.

And right now, he had a job to do. He needed to find Sophia, and he wasn’t going to stop until he did.

**_*A/N: Sooo what do we think? Feedback is greatly appreciated!! Thanks guys :D_ **

 

 

 


	3. I'll Be Fine

**A/N: I hope you guys are enjoying so far. Thank you to everyone who has read! This is clearly going to be a bit of a slow burn, but I hope you all stick with me! This is my first Walking Dead fic, so feedback is, as always, welcome!**

***I do not own The Walking Dead or its characters***

“You’re letting her go?!” a screech came from downstairs.

You knew Maggie wasn’t going to take the news well. She was always protective of you. Just like she was with Beth. She was only two years older than you, but in her mind that meant you were her responsibility, and she took it very seriously since the moment you became friends. You’ll never forget how she stood up to your asshole foster father. The memory brought a soft smile to your lips.

* **Flashback** *

_“You stupid little shit!”_

_You flinched back trying to disappear into the wall behind you. You had no idea what you did to piss him off this time._

_“You stole my smokes! Now give um ‘ere!” he screamed some more._

_“I-I didn’t t-take them, I d-don’t smoke.” You muttered softly. But the second the words left your mouth you knew it had been the wrong thing to say._

_You felt the sharp sting on your cheek before you hit the ground. What kind of man hit a ten year old. You glanced around hoping you could find somewhere to run._

_“You callin me a liar?” he growled out._

_You glanced up and noticed his had was raised for another strike and you flinched back._

_“HEY!” yelled an unfamiliar voice. You looked to the opening of the alley and saw another girl. She was skinny with brown hair to her shoulders. She couldn’t have been much older than you._

_“Leave her alone!” she yelled again taking a step forward._

_You looked up when you heard him chuckle softly, almost menacingly._

_“Walk away little girl.” He sneered. “You shouldn’t ever threaten a man you don’t know, and you really don’t do it alone.”_

_“She’s not alone.” Another new voice sounded as an older man stepped behind her. “Now you best step away from the girl or I won’t hesitate to call the police.”_

_You noticed your foster father stiffen at the threat before taking a few steps back. He seemed to be contemplating his options before he turned to you again with nothing but hatred in his eyes._

_“You’re not worth the little money we get for you anyway.” He said with acid in his voice as he walked to the alley entrance shouldering past your two rescuers._

_Once he was out of sight the two made their way toward you and you tried to make yourself smaller._

_“Hello.” The old man said softly, kneeling down so he was at eye level. “What’s your name?”_

_“(Y/N).” you stutter out looking from him to the girl at his side._

_“Well (Y/N), I’m Hershel Green and this is my daughter Maggie.” The younger girl smiled and waved at her, and you found yourself smiling back._

_You looked back to Hershel to find him smiling as well._

_“How about we get you cleaned up.” He held his hand out to you and you eyed it before locking eyes with him. You saw the genuine concern and want to help and smiled again reaching out and placing your hand in his._

***End Flashback***

Maggie’s continued yelling pulled you out of your memory and you continued your way downstairs to the front room.

“Mags.” She turned to you and the temper immediately shifted to you.

“You are NOT going!” There was the Green fire in her eyes and you knew she was pissed, but you could also see the worry and fear there.

“It’s not your choice Mags.” You said calmly. She huffed and her jaw clenched, eyes narrowing slightly.

“And don’t give me that look either.” You groaned out. She was so stubborn, but then again so were you. “I can help, that little boy needs it. It’s the right thing to do and you know it.”

“But-,” Maggie hesitated looking down. You knew she knew it was the right thing. When she looked back to you her eyes were glassed over with tears she was holding back and you smiled at her.

“I’ll be fine.” You wrapped your arms around her when she walked to you and squeezed tight. She squeezed tighter. Though you weren’t related by blood, you were still sisters.

You both jumped when you felt another set of arms wrap around you and then you both started to laugh as Beth wiggled herself closer until finally making herself at home right in between you.

“My warriors three.” Hershel chuckled making the three of you giggle more. You guys had been obsessed with the Thor movies before shit hit the fan and would act out battle scenes. Not long after Hershel had started calling you his warriors, and the title stuck.

Someone cleared their throat from the door and you all turned to see Rick, Lori and Shane. Rick and Lori both had amused looks on their face, and you knew they had heard most of your conversation. Shane just looked impassive and you resisted to urge to roll your eyes.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Rick said with sincerity in his tone.

You just shook your head at him and continued to smile before looking to Ottis.

“You ready?” You took a deep breath as he nodded and smiled when you felt Maggie and Beth squeeze you tightly once more before letting you go.

You looked to Shane and nodded to the door “lets’ head out.”

Once you were all standing outside the truck you heard Maggie and Beth call out to you and Ottis.

“BE SAFE!”

You smiled and waved to everyone on the porch, silently hoping that everything was going to go smoothly. Before you climbed into the truck you saw movement to your left and glanced over to see Daryl watching you all prepare to leave. He nodded and you responded with a nod of your own. You could have sworn you saw his eyes shift to Shane briefly before falling back to you but you weren’t certain. You smiled to him then climbed into the truck and felt the nerves set in as Shane drove away.

You looked to Ottis then leaned forward slightly and looked to Shane. He made eye contact with you before looking back to the road. Daryls words echoed in your head. _Keep your eyes open._

You shivered and looked back out the window. It was going to be a long night.


	4. I Tried (but I Failed)

***I am so so sorry for the wait! This chapter is going to start with you and Shane heading back to the farm.***

**** I do not own The Walking Dead (and once again, some things will be different and not be cannon.****

**Chapter 4**

 

You stare blankly out the passenger window, fighting the intense burning behind your eyes. Everything else feels numb, aside from the growing knots of anger in your gut. You glance to your left and glare at Shane.

He let this happen.

***Flashback***

_"Alright, Ottis, you're with me." Shane had decided he was in charge and his word was going to be law._

_Shane glanced to you, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes. You knew what was coming._

_"You're staying here. If we get stuck, you'll have to take the truck and come meet us somewhere along the fence." Of course, you're a girl, you stay. Sometimes you really hated the fact that you were misjudged because of your gender._

_"You've got to be kidding." You hiss, trying to contain your annoyance._

_"(Y/N)..." Ottis hesitated before he continued, "Hershel wants you safe, so do I. If he says this is our best bet, I'm going to go with his plan."_

_You take a deep breath trying to calm yourself._

_"Fine." You agree through clenched teeth. "But,"  you glare at Shane, "You better make sure hes okay."_

_You meet Shanes eyes and for a moment you think you see amusement flash in them. Though you  don't know if its because of your threatening tone or because he finds it funny that you think he should  care._

_You turn back to Ottis and wrap your arms around him before speaking quietly in his ear._

_"I promised her I'd have your back."  Ottis squeezed tighter. He knew you were refering to Patricia, and you knew he didn't want to leave her._

_You stepped back and climbed back in the truck._

_Shane walked up to the window and handed you the keys. "Just keep an ear out. If we need you, you'll hear us."_

_You nod in response and give one last smile to Ottis before they head in. But yoou couldn't  get rid of the sick feeling in your gut."_

**_*_ End Flashback***

_I'll have your back._ The thought goes over and over your mind. You take a deep shaking breath and clench your fists and the scene plays out in your head again.

***Flashback***

_*Gunshots*_

_Your head shoots up and you get the truck started driving down the fence line and stop when you see Shane climbing over._

_No Ottis._

_"Where is he?!" you yell as  he jumps down._

_Shane glaces back  the way he came and you follow his gaze, seeing the large group of walkers._

_And then you hear the screaming._

_"NOOO!" you scream and jump out of the truck, grabbing for the fence. "Ottis!"_

_You feel a tight grip on your waist before you're yanked back._

_"Theres nothing you can do." Shane hisses in your ear, trying to shove you back into the truck._

_You struggle against his grip. "WE HAVE TO TRY!" You  yell out desperatly before you freeze when you feel the gun against your back._

_"Get in the fucking truck." A chill of fear runs up your spine before you glance back at him._

_His eyes are void of emotion as he shoves you again, and you reluctantly  go. When he gets the door closed he trains the gun on you head._

_"You're going to keep your mouth shut..." he pulls the lever back, "understand?"_

_Your eyes widen, and you nod slowly. You're usually the first to rise to a fight, but the darkness in his eyes s_ _cares you. He means it._

_Shane sets the gun on his lap and pulls away as you head back to the farm._

_You look out the window and sit in silence. It hits you. Patricia. You failed._

***End Flashback***

Deep in thought, you don't even realize Shane is talking to you. Then, you feel the sharp pain in your upper arm. You turn to look at him quickly, glancing to the grip on your arm.

 _Well thats gonna bruise,_ you think before focusing back on Shane.

"I said," he begins again squeezing harder to make a point, "don't forget what I said."

You nod before looking up, paling when you realize you are pulling down the drive to the farm. You wince as he releases your arm, pulling the truck up and parking before throwing you one last threatening  glance before opening his door to meet the growing crowd.

The  sun has begun to rise, and it is bright enough to see the looks on everyones faces. You see the exact moment when Shane tells them we lost Ottis.

You flinch when you hear Patricia wail, and only then do you realize that the tears you've been trying to hold back, are falling down your cheeks. You look up and see both Beth and Maggie holding her. Maggie looks to you still sitting in the truck and locks eyes with you. She takes one step toward you and you shake your head furiously. She freezes. The pained look she gives you causes you to break down more, and you thow the door open before jumping out and turing to head back down the drive.

"(Y/N)!" you hear Maggie yell after you.

"Not now Maggie!" you growl back, your voice breaking.

She yells for you again and you stop and turn slowly, blinking to clear the tears from your eyes. You open your mouth to speak, but you stop when you see Shane watching you.

Maggie stopped and is watching you carefully. She takes another small step towards you, and you mirror one back holding your hand up.

"Stop." you say quietly but firmly. "Not. Now. Okay Mags."

You notice that the porch is clear of people. Hershel has gone to help the boy, and Patricia to calm down. You also realize you have an audiance. The rest of Rick's group is watching you, and you suddenly feel a flash of anger.

 _If you hadn't come here, this wouldn't have happened._ You think bitterly.

Your eyes briefly scan over them before locking with Daryl's and then settling back on Maggie's.

"Okay..." Maggie  says slowly, clearly wanting to to argue but thinking better of it. "Just don't go far."

You fight the urge to roll your eyes and nod, feeling the urge to look to Daryl once more, before turning to continue down the drive, trying to ignore all the eyes on you.

The tears continue to flow. You promised. You failed. And you didn't know how to deal with Shane. For the first time in a long time, you're truly scared.  


	5. Maybe You Can Help

**A/N: So sorry about the wait guys!! Its been a very crazy time!!**

***I do not own the walking dead or any of its characters****

You don’t know how much time has passed before you hear gravel rustle behind you. Sighing, trying to prepare yourself to deal with Maggie, you turn to tell her you really are fine, but the words get caught in your throat when you see it isn’t Maggie behind you, but Daryl.

When you realize your mouth is hanging open, you quickly snap it shut, with an audible crack of your teeth. You start to fidget under his gaze. His expression gives nothing away and you grow frustrated in the silence.

“Can I help you with something, or did you just come here to stare at me?” You snap. You’ve never enjoyed people watching you. You were the observer.

Daryl remained quiet, just continued to watch you. As the silence lengthens, you seriously begin to question his mental health. Yeah he was hot, but just standing there staring at you blankly was kinda creepy.

You raise an eyebrow and cross your arms over your chest, leaning a little more on your right leg, hip jutting out slightly. 

 _If he wants to have a staring contest, fine. That’s what he was gonna get_. You thought smugly.

He looked you up and down once again before finally speaking.

“Shane explained to everyone what happened.” His rough voice made you shiver slightly. When his words registered your face fell briefly before masking it.

“Hmm.” Is all you can manage. What had Shane said?

Daryl is watching you intently still. Almost as if he’s trying to read your mind. 

“Said Otis died a hero. Sacrificed himself to save you both.” Daryl grumbled out.

You tense slightly and feel your nails digging into your arm. “Both?” you ask shortly. Staring at the ground.

“Yeah, said you got separated from them and was trapped. Otis made a distraction to draw um away so you could get out. They followed him but he wasn’ fast enough.” Daryl explained.

Your jaw clenches tightly and you’re pretty sure your nails are drawing blood. _What the fuck?! How DARE that bastard! If you had actually been there, you could have saved Otis! But HE made you stay with the truck. And here he was making everyone think this was because YOU made a mistake_!

You didn’t realize that you were shaking until you felt a had on your shoulder. You glance up quickly, meeting Daryl’s blue gaze. _When the hell had he moved closer?_

He squeezes slightly and you are surprised by the flash of concern in his eyes. “You wanna tell me what really happened?”

Your eyes widen slightly. “How do you know that isn’t what happened? And why do you care anyway?” you question. You were surprised. He didn’t seem like the type that would care. At least not about someone he didn’t really know.

He’s quiet for a moment, then the corners of his mouth twitch up slightly.

A smirk had no right to look that sexy on anyone.

“I’m observant. The fucker says Otis sacrificed ‘mself an' took off to make a distraction, but then comes back with his gun? I don’ think so.” He releases your shoulder and takes a step back. “So, what happened?”

You didn’t fail to notice that he didn’t answer your second question.

You open your mouth, not sure exactly what you’re going to say. But before you can find the words another voice interrupts you.

“Daryl!”

You look past Daryl’s shoulder and see Shane walking forward. You pale at his expression and hold your breath.

“The fuck you wan’?” Daryl growled out, looking back to you briefly before setting his gaze on Shane.

“Ricks looking for you. Wants to go over plans for looking for Sophia.” Shane states coldly. “Though why he needs your worthless redneck ass to help, I've no idea.”

Daryl tenses and takes two long strides until he’s in Shane’s face. “Wanna rethink that asshole?” he growls out.

“Daryl! Shane!" Ricks voice calls out from further down the drive. Shane takes a step back and waves to Rick to signal they’re coming. Daryl nods to you before heading back towards the farm without another word.

You move to follow but Shane grabs your arm stopping you before you can move past. You turn to glare at him trying to twist your arm out of his grasp.

He leans is slightly before hissing in your ear. "You better fuckin watch it. Keep your mouth shut. And if you can’t do that, I can think of other ways of keeping it occupied.”

You tense and jerk your arm away harshly glaring at him before spitting in his face. 

Yeah, he scared you, but you weren’t going to let him know it. Consequences be damned. You had dealt with assholes your whole life.. He was no different.

Shane raises his hand like he’s about to strike you, when a body shoves into the space between you.

Daryl.

“You don't fucking touch her.” The threat in his voice clear. You have to admit, you weren’t expecting this protective side of him, and it was making you hot all over.

Hate radiates off of Shane as he steps back from Daryl. He looks away from them towards the farm, then turns abruptly to head back. Though not before shooting one more look of warning your way.Clearly he decided this wasn’t the time.

“You good?” Daryl asks you, glancing over his shoulder.

“Um, yeah. Thanks." You tuck your hair behind your ear and take a step back from him, realizing how close you are to leaning into his muscular back.

He watches you for a moment, then nods following Shane.

You know you need to head back too, but now, with the lies that Shane has told you’re wary. You don’t know how you’re going to face Patricia. Would she hate you now? 

With a deep breath, you slowly make your way back to the farm. Your mind wanders as your go over everything that has happened. Shane was a problem that needed to be dealt with. But you couldn’t just come out and call him a liar without any proof. It was your word against his.

Would the rest of Shane's group believe you?

You took comfort in the fact that Daryl at least believed he was lying. Maybe he could help you. He just proved he was willing, too. 

You made up your mind that you would find a way to talk to Daryl where they wouldn’t be interrupted. You just had to make sure Shane didn’t notice.

Your cheeks flushed when you thought of what else you could do alone with Daryl uninterrupted. How his rough hands would feel on your skin. How he would taste.

_Oh God…_

You shook your head violently.

This was seriously going to be distracting

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry about the wait guys. I just started my new job and I’ve been a little scatter brained. Hope you all enjoy!

Today had been one shitty thing on top of another. First, Daryl had gone out on his own again to look for Sophia. You admired him for his relentless attempts of finding the girl, but this time he stole a fucking horse! Nelly was called Nervous Nelly for a reason, and you felt a knot of worry for him form in your gut. _Did he even know how to ride? What if something happened?_

Then, Maggie took Glenn with her on a run to the local pharmacy, coming back and pulling you up the stairs into your room, where she proceeded to tell you how she and Glenn had hooked up after he saved her from a walker. And the lovely information that Lori had them pick up pills that would cause an abortion.

*Flashback*

_Your eyes widened. “You’ve GOT to be fucking kidding me. Shes pregnant?“_

_Maggie just nodded, a scowl showing on her face as well. “I wonder who the father is.”_

_Her statement surprised you. You thought you were the only one to notice the looks Shane sent to Lori when he though no one was looking._

_“You noticed that too, huh?” A smirk gracing your lips._

_“I do pay attention sometimes, ya brat.” Maggie pulled an irritated expression, but her voice held a laugh in it as she flicked your shoulder._

*Flashback end*

Then, to top it all off, you’re pissed off at Andrea because she almost killed your Daryl!

_Wait, what? When the fuck did he become yours?_

Ignoring everyone gathered around the kitchen, you fill up a bowl of water and head of to finish cleaning Daryl up. You told Hershel you’d take care of it and were surprised by the small knowing smile he gave you, causing you to flush crimson. This as getting to be ridiculous. Since when did you let things like this effect you.

You knocked softly on the door before entering. When you stepped in you froze at the sight before you. The sheet had pulled down enough to expose his back, and the scars that crisscrossed it. 

Daryl turned quickly pulling the sheet up glaring at you. Pure anger on his face. 

“The fuck you doin in here.” He was watching you, and you knew all too well what he was looking for. Pity. The same thing you searched for when anyone saw your scars. 

Instead you just raise your eyebrow at him. “Well, considering you aren’t really in the best shape to be taking care of yourself, I told Hershel I’d help. If you don’t want it, that’s fine. I’ll leave it here.”

He continued to glare at you and you just took a deep breath before closing the door and setting the bowl of water on the side table. You slowly unbuttoned your shirt and watched his eyes widen. If it weren’t such a serious moment, you’d have laughed at his scared expression. 

Walkers, sure no problem. Topless girl, god forbid. 

“What the hell?!” he growled out before silencing completely when he saw the large scar that ran across your abdomen. 

You swear he stopped breathing when you turned around so he could see the rest that littered your back.

After a moment you turned back around and quickly buttoned your shirt. Nerves getting the better of you. It wasn’t often you let people see. 

“Look,” you started, reluctantly meeting his eyes, “I don’t know what your situation was, but I get it. It sucks. Some people in the world are cruel and make you feel unworthy of being loved. I’ve been there.”

His eyes never left yours. His expression gave you nothing.

“But then I found the Greenes. Well they found me I guess. They saved me. And if you let people in and give them half a chance, maybe they’ll save you too.”

You smile softly before turning back towards the door. “Use the water and rag if you need it. See you around.”

Without waiting for a response you left the room, heading to yours. It had been a very long day and you were ready to crash. Maybe tomorrow would be better. And maybe your words will have made a difference. Even if they didn’t, it was something he deserved to hear.


	7. It's Not Always Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You didn't think things could get any worse. But your guilt just might start to drown you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys! Hope you enjoy!! Please leave comments *I do not own The Walking Dead or its characters*  
> Also, sorry for any mistakes, had to post quickly before leaving for work.

Chapter 7

_"I told you not to get back late! You were supposed to have dinner ready by the time I got back!"_

_You cringed as his voice slurred and could smell the alcohol rolling off him in waves. How this man was allowed to foster children, you'd never understand._

_"Y/N!" He yelled again. Slowly you walk fully through the door to the living room where he is pacing back and forth. He stops and stares at you with a glare so hard your surprised you aren't dead. When his hands go to his waist, undoing his belt, you take a step back, eyes widening._

_"Get your ass over here you stupid bitch!" When you make no move toward him, he stalks forward grabbing your arm harshly and pulling you forward, pushing you to your knees._

_You shake violently and peer over your shoulder, tears filling your eyes as he raises his hand holding the belt._

_"Maybe this will teach you to listen." he hisses with a sickening grin on his face. The next second you feel the searing pain of a metal buckle dragging across your skin._

You gasp sitting up abruptly holding a hand to your chest as you take in a ragged breath. You figured after showing Daryl your scars, that your subconscious would pull this crap. It had been awhile since you had one of those nightmares.

Looking over you see Maggie is still asleep and feel a small weight lift off your chest. You didn't want to have the conversation that you knew would have happened if she had woken. Taking another deep, steadying, breath you quietly get up and head for the bathroom. You were drenched in sweat and wanted to wash the evidence of the horror movie in your head off of you. 

As the water heated, you shed your clothes, looking in the mirror. You weren't the same scared little girl you used to be, but your past still liked to make its occasional haunting. The dark circles under your eyes were evidence enough that you hadn't gotten a very restful sleep. Sighing, you step under the warm water and relish in the feel of loosening sore and knotted muscles. The lavender scent of the soap calming as you scrubbed it over your skin. As you tipped your head into the spray, your hands came up to cup you breasts, caressing them softly. You groaned quietly, remembering there were several people in the house, and not wanting to deal with that embarrassment.

Biting your lower lip you contain your moans, you squeezed your breasts harder, pinching your nipples. You flush when you imagine what Daryl's calloused hands would feel like on your body and let one hand drift down while the other continued its assault on your chest. When your right hand reaches its destination you whimper at how swollen and wet you are and let a finger slide between your lips up to your clit. You imagine Daryl behind you, arms around you and hand on your pussy. Fingers drawing tight quick circles over your clit. Your hips stutter forward and your breathing becomes shallow as you ride your hand, feeling your climax nearing.

You move your fingers faster over your clit and gasp as the knot that was tightening in your lower stomach breaks. Allowing your fingers to slow, you take a deep breath and flush a deep red. This color having nothing to do with the warm water running down you. How were you even going to look at Daryl today.

Quickly finishing up in the shower, you get dressed and head down to the kitchen.

"Good morning dear." Patricia says quietly from her place at the table. You freeze and quickly look away from her gaze. You still haven't been able to apologize to her about Otis. You notice Hershel, Rick, and Andrea are also getting breakfast and Hershel's hard look gives you pause. He can always seem to tell exactly what you are thinking, and it appeared that he didn't like your train of thought. 

You hear the stairs creaking and tense slightly when you hear Daryl grumble to himself. Something about sore muscles. 

You take a seat opposite of Patricia and eat the eggs you piled onto your plate avoiding looking in Daryl's direction. But you can feel his eyes burning into you. 

"How you feelin man?" Rick asks, and you can only assume he is talking to Daryl. 

"Alright." He grumbles, clearly irritated that he is injured in the first place. 

"Did you sleep okay dear?" Come Patricia's soft voice and you startle slightly when you realize that she talking to you. "You look tired."

You look up to her slowly before glancing at the others and noticing their concerned expressions, when they too notice the dark circles under your eyes. You look back to Patricia and nod before looking back to your plate. It's not just Daryl staring at you. You can feel everyone's eyes. 

"Y/N?" Patricia calls softly. 

You look back up to her and want to cry at her worried expression. She shouldn't be worried. She should hate you. You let her down. Otis was dead.

 _Your fault_.

You swallow before trying to respond. "I-"... you swallow again. "I-". You can feel the emotion tightening in your throat and stand abruptly. 

"Goin out." You say tightly before rushing out the front door. You can hear Hershel and Patricia calling your name but refuse to turn around. You need to clear your head. 

"Hey!" You freeze at his voice, but don't turn back. 

"You gon' look at me?" His rough voice pulls at your gut, but you are too lost in your own mind to let it get to you right now. 

You turn around slightly and look in his direction, not meeting his gaze. Hes quiet for a few minutes before speaking again. "You good?"

Now you do look at him. He seems uncomfortable. Confused as to why he followed her. The tears are still threatening to fall and you clench your jaw tightly. 

"M' fine." You choke out through clenched teeth. The look he gives clearly shows that he doesn't believe you but he doesn't say anything else. Just watches you. 

"Not your fault ya know." he suddenly says as you begin to turn away again. 

"How do you-" you cut off whirling back to look at him. How the hell does he know what your thinking? How does he do this to you?

"Its not." The conviction in his voice breaks you and you feel a tear run down your cheek. "Just-" he pauses "Just don't do anything stupid. Okay?" 

You are caught off guard by the clear ring of concern in his voice. Part of you wants to stay, talk with him, realizing that your confession to him last night has clearly changed something between you. But you are still falling down the rabbit hole. Following your guilt. You just nod and hold his gaze a moment more before continuing to head out towards the field. It was always your go to thinking place. 

You look back once more and feel warmth in your chest when you see Daryl still watching you. Things were changing. But you weren't completely sure if it that was a good thing yet. 


	8. Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were not the scared little girl anymore, and you'd be damned if you let Shane think any different any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is enjoying! I know this is slow burn, but its coming soon! I promise!! Please leave comments because shit is about to get real and you are about to see a new side to "Y/N"!

Chapter 8

You suppose it was time to head back. Two hours was long enough. Any longer and Maggie would send out search parties. The wide open space of the field and the fresh air always helped you clear your head. Everything was starting to build up and you were a time bomb. It wouldn't be long before something set you off. 

Taking another deep breath the tension started to drain from your shoulders and you reigned in your emotions. That's when you heard the yelling back towards the house. You didn't hesitate, just took off, running as fast as you could.

The scene you came across shocked you. You froze, taking every thing in. Hershel and Rick were each holding a long pole with walkers attached to them and Shane was yelling while the rest of the group stared on, appearing just as shocked as you. Looking over to Maggie, you see her horror struck expression and then the glare she shoots at Glenn before looking at you and willing you to understand what is happening.

That's when you notice they are headed towards the barn.  _The barn...They know._

"Shit." you mumble before running to Maggie's side. "How-"

"Glenn." She cut off with another glare in his direction.

Shane is still yelling and pacing back and forth before turning towards the barn door. "If you wanna survive, then you gotta fight for it!" he screamed, before breaking open the door.

"No!" You yell as the walkers come stumbling out. Shane starts putting them down one by one as Andrea, Daryl, and T-Dog line up to help him. You see Maggie nod out of the corner of your eye and then see Glenn shoot forward to help too.

Rick is yelling at Hershel to take the poll from him so he can help stop this but he is on his knees and not responding. Just staring at the massacre before him. You felt your heart break. You knew that they were dead, that they weren't just sick. But Hershel has honestly believed that a cure would come. He had to believe it.

Looking back to the walkers falling bodies, you flinch when you see Hershel's his wife fall to the ground.

Rick, giving up on getting Hershel's attention, disposed of the walker and walked toward the others. The shooting had stopped and it was quiet. Until you heard the soft growling. Looking back to the door you see a small girl stumble forward, walking towards what she thinks is her next meal.

"Sophia?" a soft whisper from you left. Carol is staring in horror as the walker continues to move towards them. "Sophia!" she cries, running forward only to be stopped by Daryl.

Glancing to the rest of the group, you see the looks of anguish on the rest of their faces. This was the girl they had been looking for. Your heart broke all over again. No one should have to go through this.

Rick took a deep breath before raising his own gun, and doing what no one else could. What used to be Sophia dropped and you cringed at Carols wail.

"Mama?" Your head shot up too see Beth kneeling down to her mother, crying.

"Bethie." You call for her softly. She hadn't known that her mother was in the barn. 

Then suddenly the walker moved, trying to take a bite out of Beth's arm. You screamed running forward only to stop when Daryl shoved a post through her head.

Patricia and Jimmy grab Beth's shoulders and pulled her away, dragging her back to the house.

You reach up and wipe the few tears that had fallen before heading back to help Maggie with Hershel, refusing to look at anyone. As you all walk back toward the house Shane trys to get in Hershel's face, and when that doesn't work, he grabs his arm. That was it. That was the spark that set off the explosion inside your head.

Letting go of Hershel's waist, you swing a back handed fist at Shane's face. You register his shocked look for a moment, but then continue to lay into him. "You don't get to touch him!" You yell before bringing another fist to his face. Shane cries out as blood gushes from his nose, but you're not done.

Now that his shock has worn off, he steps forward to fight back, and you smile, or more like bare your teeth, before tackling him to the ground.

 _One, two, one, two, one, two_. Blow after blow you rain down on him, barely registering Maggie and Patricia yelling at you to stop.

Strong arms wrap around you pulling you off of a very pissed off Shane. Rick is holding him back and you look behind you to see T-Dog. "Get the fuck off me you piece of shit!" you growl harshly and lurch forward out of his grasp, planning to get to Shane again. But another set of arms grabs you and they are like steel. You turn to yell at whoever dared get in our way again only to stop when you see Daryl.

He leans forward and whispers in your ear. "You need to calm down."

Irritated that he won't let go, you relent and remain still, taking in long, deep breaths before looking back towards Shane, eyes narrowed. Daryl slowly lets go, apparently convinced that you won't attack again. Glancing to the others you see the looks of shock, concern, and fear shadowing their faces. They just saw the real you for the first time, and you're not surprised by the reaction. You were a monster.

Looking back to Shane, your gaze turns steely and you make a decision. "You do NOT get to touch him, you don't get to touch anyone you sorry sack of shit! You think you know what's right?! Should we inform everyone of what really happened at the hospital?"

You smirk when his eyes widen. You were done with his bullshit. Done with him thinking that he could threaten you and you'd just roll over. And if you had to revert back into the monster you used to be to keep your family safe. Then so be it.

"Oh? No comment? No explaining how you told me to stay with the truck, or how you came over the fence without Otis after I only heard one gunshot? Oh, what about how you held a gun on me, Otis's gun, and told me to keep my damn mouth shut or you'd kill me too?!" you were running out of air and took in a long deep breath, taking pride in the looks everyone was giving Shane. Disgust, and a few angered you when you saw a small amount of doubt on their faces. What reason did you have to lie? 

"T-that's, that's bullshit." he tried to deny and you took a step forward threateningly.

"Y/N" Maggie called, willing you to stop. But no, you were on a roll, and you were out for blood.

"No Mags." you growl out, shooting her a look. You feel slightly bad when she flinches away. Maggie has seen you at your most vicious, and the fact that she was wary right now meant you were pretty close to your worst.

You shift slightly looking to Rick. "You best get this one in check. If you don't..." you trail off glancing toward Shane again before holding Ricks gaze with your icy one, "I'm not afraid to put a bullet in his brain." Your voice is low and threating and Ricks eyes widen.

Shane however thought it was an appropriate moment to scoff. "Yeah. Okay."

You have to restrain yourself from throwing another punch and look him straight in the eyes before speaking so he knows you mean business.

"You don't know me or the shit I will or won't do. You'd be surprised. And I suggest you sleep with one eye open."

Everyone is silent and you can see Daryl staring at you with a look of concern, wonder, and you think, a little bit of pride.

Finally Hershel speaks up from behind you. "I want you all off my property."

He doesn't say any more before walking into the house and you block Rick's path as he try's to follow.

You cross you arms and watch as he realizes you won't be moving anytime soon. Taking a deep breath he motions for the group to head back to their camp grabbing Shane harshly by the elbow. "You and I are gonna have a chat."

You look back to Daryl and feel a sharp pain in your chest. Would he leave with the rest of the group?

He held your gaze and his mouth kicked up slightly at the corner. "See you later Tiger."

Your mouth twitches, fighting a smile as he walks away, and you look down at your hand to see the slip and bruised knuckles.

Now that there was no one there to see, you let the few tears still burning your eyes fall. You had been doing so well, had been becoming a good person. But your family didn't need you to be a good person in this new world. They needed the monster.

 

 


	9. This Has Always Been Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have to deal with Maggie, and though you love her, sometimes she just doesn't know when to shut up. Not only that, but Beth breaks down, Hershel is gone, and Rick is determined to convince you all that it is okay for them to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait you guys! I have three doubles in a row and didn't get home till around midnight. This is the first chance I've had to post. lol How you enjoy! Please comment and let me know what you think!

Chapter 9

You hesitantly walk into the house roughly two hours later, trying to mentally prepare yourself for the lecture you know is coming. 

 _Three, two, one..._ "What the hell?!" Maggie hissed. 

You take a deep breath calming yourself before meeting her gaze. You assumed Hershel had already gone to his room since you didn't see him anywhere , and you were glad. You didn't want him to be around for this conversation. "Go ahead, get it out Mags." 

Maggie's eyes narrow and she frowns slightly. " I thought you were done with that. You aren't that person. Yeah, when you were in the system, maybe you were, but not anymore." You wanted to believe her. But you knew the truth. Once a monster, always a monster. 

"You're wrong." You glanced over toward the kitchen were Beth was washing dishes and quieted your voice before continuing. "This has always been me Mags. You've seen it. It may not always show, but its always there."

"That's bullshit!" She growled out, not as concerned with Beth overhearing as you were. "You haven't been like that in years! Ever since you came to live here you've been so much better!"

"Because I didn't have a reason to Maggie!" you growl right back. It pissed you off sometimes that she always thought she knew better than you just because she was a year older. "You guys didn't get me out of there till I was 15! Yeah, the last 7 years have been nice, but this new world doesn't need nice anymore. And YOU don't get to tell me who I am and who I'm not Maggie Greene. I love you, and you are like my sister. But you do NOT get to control me. No one will ever have that right again." 

Maggie's eyes widened at your tone. Yeah, you two had fought before, but your words usually held some warmth. Though right now, you were to busy reconstructing those walls you let crumble, and your tone held no warmth toward the older Greene. 

She opened her mouth to respond when plates breaking interrupted and you turned quickly to see Beth fall to the floor. Your heart froze it fear. 

"Beth!" you yelled out and the same time Maggie cried "Bethie!" Both of you rushing to her side. 

"Beth," you call and wave your hand in front of her face, "Beth honey, can you hear me?" 

She didn't respond, just stared blankly straight ahead. She didn't even respond to Maggie. 

"Whats going on?" Patricia rushed in behind you and put two fingers to Beth's neck. "I think shes going into shock." she stated before rushing to grab a bowl filling it with water. 

"Y/N, can you manage to get her to her room and in bed? I'll be right behind you with this." You nodded lifting her into your arms and carefully making your way up the stairs.

"Maggie honey," Patricia continued, "go get your daddy." You heard Maggie take off to her fathers room as you made it up the last few steps. Patricia followed you into the room, rung out the wet rag, and place it on Beth's clammy forehead. You noticed her hand was shaking. 

Clearing your throat slightly you reached over and took Patricia's hand, squeezing slightly. "She'll be okay. Hershel will know what to do." 

She squeezed your hand back and smiled softly, and you knew right then that she didn't blame you. Probably never did, and you felt some of the guilt leave your system.

Letting go of her hand you looked to the door. "Where the heck are they?"

Patricia's brow furrowed before peeking her head out the door and calling for Maggie, only to get no response. She looks to you with concern and you stand quickly, heading out of the room.

"Stay with Beth, I'll go see whats going on." She nods and you rush down to Hershel's room, only to find it empty. "Maggie?" you call out walking towards the from room. Still no response. You step out onto the porch and call again. "Maggie?"

"Y/N!" You turn to see Maggie run around the side of the house breathing heavy. "I can't find daddy!"

"What do you mean you can't find him?" You voice rose an octave as concern filled you.

"I can't find him anywhere!" Maggie looks frantic and you look over to Rick's group, grinding you teeth together. Surly they hadn't done anything to him. They wouldn't dare after the little show you put on earlier.

Maggie seemed to jump on your train of thought, face growing darker, and she stormed towards the group. You were right on her heels.

"Rick!" Maggie yelled out and his head shot up. Surprise and confusion on his face. "Have you seen my dad?" 

Ricks brow pinched together as he shook his head. "No, why? What's going on?"

You glance around the camp and cant't pinpoint Shane anywhere. 

"He's not here." Rick said when he saw your searching eyes. "Kicked him out."

Your eyes widened slightly before you nodded. "Good. But I doubt hes gone. Gonna have to keep an eye out." 

Rick nodded. "Now whats going on?" he asked again. By this point the rest of his group had gathered around, even Daryl seemed interested in what was going on.

"Its Beth. She collapsed and Patricia thinks its shock. She won't respond to anything, just keeps staring at the ceiling." Maggie rushed through her explanation. "And we can't find daddy anywhere."

"I haven't seem him." Rick looked to Lori and she shook her head as well. "Is there anywhere he might have gone, maybe a special place he would go to think. He has got to be hurting after today."

Maggie shook her head, panic taking over as tears formed in her eyes. "No-" she choked out, "he wouldn't just leave. I don't know where-"

You racked your brain trying to think of anywhere he might go, when it suddenly clicked. "Son of a bitch." you growl out before turning and running to the corral where the horses were kept.

"Y/N?" Maggie called after you, confusion coloring her tone.

You didn't stop running but turned your head and called out over your shoulder. "Bar!"

Maggie was running after you now. "Wha- oh my god." she gasped when she realized what you meant.

You whistled and Spartan trotted over. Hershel had gotten you the big black gelding for your 17th birthday and he was the best present you had ever gotten. You didn't know it was possible to bond with an animal like that. But you swore Spartan knew what you were saying and thinking. Grabbing a lead, you tied him to a post and began tacking him up. He nickered at you and you chuckled, pulling a sugar cube out of your pocket. You always had one handy.

At this point the others had caught up with you and Maggie. "What are you doing?" Lori reached forward as if to try to stop you from trowing the saddle on Spartans back, but you shouldered her out of the way.

Without taking the time to stop, you got right to the point. "He went to the fucking bar, I'm gonna go get him."

"Honey." Lori's voice was soft but had an almost condescending tone and you rolled your eyes. _Here we go_. 

"Honey, you can't go alone. and on a horse no less. You could get hurt."

You tightened and tied off the girth, as if you hadn't heard her, but she just kept on. "We aren't going to let you just go."

You froze before slowly turning toward her. "Excuse me?" You hiss in annoyance. "You aren't going to let me?"

Lori hesitated before nodding. "I wouldn't feel comfortable letting you go, and you're needed here. Beth needs you."

"You self-righteous bitch!" You spat out, losing what little calm you had finally gained back from earlier today. "What in gods name makes you think I give a fuck what you're comfortable with?" You look to Maggie and are surprised to see that she has a look of annoyance on her face that isn't directed at you, but at Lori.

"Better yet," you continue, "what the hell gave you the impression that you are in charge here. Seems that Shane rubbed off on you in more than one way." It was a low blow and Lori's eyes widened as Rick tensed. It wasn't something he didn't already know, but having it pointed out so obviously clearly bothered him.

"And yes, I'm taking my horse. I can take a shorter rout through the woods. Also, Beth has Maggie and Patricia here, so she'll be fine." You look to Maggie who nods. Your earlier argument momentarily forgotten. 

There are a few more beats of silence before Rick speaks again. "Where is the bar at?" 

You look at him curiously before Maggie responds. "About 30 minutes North, next town over."

Rick nods and looks to Daryl who also nods. "We'll take the truck and meet you there." 

You open your mouth to argue that you don't need their help, only to have Daryl interrupt you. "Ain't cuz we think ya can' do it ya'self. Just in case ya need back up or he can' get up on the damn horse." He rolled his eyes at you, appearing slightly amused. You seemed to be doing that to him a lot recently. You were curious as to why. 

His words interrupted your thoughts. "Ya don' know how boozed up hes gonna be." 

You think on it a moment before nodding and slipping your foot in the stirrup and swinging your leg over. "Okay." you concede.

Spartan paws at the ground slightly, clearly glad that he was going to be getting out for awhile. You smile slightly and past his neck. "Yeah, me too, buddy."

Rick runs to grab the truck as Daryl comes to your left side stoking Spartans neck before grabbing your thigh right above your knee squeezing slightly and rubbing his thumb in long slow circles on the inside of your thigh.

Your breath hitches and you freeze in surprise, looking around quickly, but Maggie is no longer standing near you and is off to the side talking in hushed tones with Andrea. You look back down to Daryl who has a small smirk on his face as he lets his hand drift up higher until his fingers are brushing your hip and his thumb is still lightly brushing circles over the inside of your thigh. Only this time it briefly grazes your core each time it passes and you start to breath harder. Despite the situation, you were getting ridiculously turned on by his simple touch.

You startle when you hear the truck pull up on your other side and hear Rick call Daryl's name.

He squeeze your thigh one last time before stepping away and walking around towards the truck. "See you soon Tiger." His deep voice sends a shot of arousal straight to your core. "Be careful out there."

As he hops in the truck, it takes off down the driveway and you watch it dumbly for a moment before snapping out of it and waving goodbye to Maggie. Clicking your tongue you push Spartan into a light canter over the field and toward the mass of trees. 

 _What the hell just happened?_  

 


	10. I Need You...We All Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find Hershel just where you expect. You and Daryl get closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Hope you are enjoying so far! Thank you so much to everyone who has read and commented. I really do appreciate you so much! Also, there is a quote from Firefly in here. So Disclaimer *I do not own Walking Dead or Firefly*

Chapter 10

Spartan weaved through the trees and you enjoyed the free feeling that always came when you rode. You only had a few more minutes before you reached town and began to get mentally prepared to be on your guard. You weren't going to let something or someone sneak up on you. 

Unfortunately, no matter how hard you tried to focus, Daryl kept flooding your mind. All you could think of was his hands on you and what it would feel like with his fingers buried inside you. Or better yet, his cock. You shivered at the thought. You had never met someone who made you feel this way, and you defiantly weren't complaining.

You finally came to a break in the trees and slowly nudged Spartan forward. You couldn't see any immediate threats in the area and dismounted securing the reins to the saddle horn. 

As you walked down the road towards the bar you could hear the clicks of his hooves behind you. The last thing you wanted was for a walker to take a bite out of him. Once in front of the bar, you loosely secured Spartan to a post, in case he needed to get away while you were inside. Patting his neck, you muttered "be right back boy", then peeked in the front window.

Sure enough, sitting alone in an empty bar, was Hershel. Taking a deep breath, you opened the door and stepped inside. 

"Well that didn't take long." Hershel sighed before turning to look at you. 

You gave him a small smile and hopped up onto the stool next to him. There was a small glass of amber liquid sitting in front of him, though it didn't look like he had touched it yet. 

"The temptation got a bit strong." he muttered. Picking up the glass, swirling it around, before setting it back down. 

You reached over and placed your hand over Hershel's wrist and squeezed until he looked up at you. The pain and sorrow you saw in his eyes almost made you wince. 

"Ya haven't drank it yet Hershel. You're stronger than that." you looked at him and put as much belief and faith in your eyes as you could. You heard a rumble of a truck outside and shook your head when Hershel tensed. "S'okay, just Rick and Daryl."

Hershel's eyes hardened and you sighed. "Don't give me that look. Rick tried. Shane did this and the rest were just trying to keep everyone safe."

He kept his gaze locked on yours before looking down to his hands. You looked over to the door when it opened and waved as the boys walked in. You glanced at Daryl, but quickly looked away feeling heat rush to your face. Now was definitely not the time.

"Bout time ya'll showed up." you sassed, smiling when both men chuckled. Hershel remained silent.

 Rick looked to you and you shook your head, knowing he was wondering if you had mentioned Beth. 

Rick nodded before speaking. "Beth collapsed." Hershel looked up quickly at this but said nothing. "She needs you."

Hershel shook his head. "She just needs to grieve her mother. She'll be fine." 

You eyed him warily. That didn't sound like the Hershel you knew. "I don't think that's what it is Hershel. She isn't responding to anything." 

When he doesn't say anything, you keep going. "Please come home. They kicked Shane out. He's gone. It doesn't bring them back, I know, but you need to come home."

When he still says nothing Daryl speaks. "We promised Maggie we would bring you home."

Hershel growled. "Like you promised that little girl?" 

Daryl tensed and you were shocked. It wasn't like him to be so cruel.

"Hey!" you protested. "That's enough. He was out there every day looking for her. She was in your damn barn. Do not pin that on them." Hershel's eyes widened as you crossed your arms over your chest. "Your hurting, I get it, but that was uncalled for and you know it." 

Rick and Daryl both shot you grateful looks before looking back to Hershel as he spoke. "Your right. I apologize for that one." 

Daryl nodded but said nothing. Then Hershel continued.

"But there is no hope." he stated firmly and you felt your anger and frustration rise with every word he spoke. "And you know it now. Like I do. Don't you? There is no hope for any-" he was cut off abruptly as your palm made contact with his cheek, sending out a loud slap.

It was silent. No one speaking or moving. Just wide eyes of shock and the sound of your rapid breathing. 

You glare at Hershel sliding off the stool to stand in front of him, making eye contact. "How. Dare. You." you emphasize each word. "How dare you!" 

Your fists clench at your sides and you see Rick step forward. "Back off." you growl out. "He knows I wouldn't ever hit him with a fist." 

Hershel gives the slightest nod, eyes still wide, watching you. "You don't get to say that shit! Especially not to me!" you continue angrily. 

"How many times did I want to give up? How many times did I want it to be over and done? How many times did I come to you with more bruises and cuts than I could count? And what the hell did you say to me?!" There were tears in your eyes as you yelled at him. Daryl and Rick saying nothing, just taking in your words. Daryl's face remained neutral aside from the bit of surprise that gleamed in his eyes. Rick on the other hand had shock and anger written in every line of his face. No doubt wanting to ask what you were talking about. 

But you didn't acknowledge them. You kept your blurred eyes on Hershel. 

Taking a deep shaky breath you spoke softly, speaking the words that got you through everything. "When you can't run, you crawl, and when you can't crawl..." you trail off as a sob escapes you. It had been a long time since you allowed anyone to see you cry like this. You see Daryl's fingers twitch out of the corner of your eye as if he wants to reach for you, but remains where he is as you try to finish.

"W-when you ca-n't crawl, you find someone to carry y-you." You reach up and run your hand over your eyes trying to stop the flow of tears. 

There's a hitch in your breath followed by another sob when you hear Hershel finish softly. "And I'll always be here to carry you kiddo." 

He reaches for you and you wrap your arms around him, burying your face into his chest as he runs his hand down the back of your head. You peak out to look at Rick and Daryl. Rick's eyes are glassy with emotion and you can't name the look on Daryl's face as he watches you. His eyes are locked on you as if he can't look away. 

You step back as you calm down and wipe your eyes again. "See what you made me do?" you make your voice light, trying to alleviate some of the tension of the last few minutes.  

"Sorry Kiddo." he squeezes your shoulder before turning to speak to Rick, but freezes as the door swings open and two men walk in. You tense as one of the men takes you in appreciatively before speaking. 

"Mind if we join you for a drink?" He asks casually. "Maybe a little fun?" he sneers as he looks to you again. 

You are surprised when Daryl moves in front of you, one hand reached behind him, pressing a hand to your stomach signaling you to stay behind him.

"What man? Can't share?" he leers at you some more, causing his friend to chuckle.

"I'm Tommy. This here is Dave. Ya'll gotta place near here?" Tommy asked with a grin. 

"Not one with enough room for you. Sorry." Rick replies. "Got a pretty fair amount of people already."

"That so?" Dave laughed. "Then how bout we take the pretty one off your hands then, and we'll be on our way."

You tense, as does Daryl. "No fuckin chance. Now you best get movin." he growls out. And though it really shouldn't, him threatening someone to keep you safe sends heat straight to your belly. 

_Again? Good lord. This man could roll around in mud and I'd probably still get turned on._

Dave reached for his gun and before he could draw it Rick shot him right between the eyes, followed quickly by Tommy. There was no remorse in his face. You shuttered slightly behind Daryl and his hand rubbed soothing circles into your stomach trying to reassure you.

You reached your hand down and placed it over his squeezing, letting him know you appreciated it. You leaned forward and placed your forehead on his shoulder blade, before lifting your head and placing a light kiss to his bare skin where his shoulder and neck met. He shivered slightly and you smiled when you realized that you effected him just as much as he did you. 

Hershel broke the silence. "We should get home."

You glace over and see him smiling at you with the same knowing look as before and blush, ducking your head. "I'll ride with you Rick, but knowing there may be more men in the area, I don't feel comfortable with Y/N riding back alone."

"I'll go wit' her." Daryl's voice seemed to be a few octaves lower, but no one pointed it out.

Rick just nodded. "Alright. We'll meet you back there. Be careful."

You stepped out from behind Daryl and wrapped Hershel in a hug. "See you soon." you whispered in his ear.

"See you soon kiddo." there was amusement in his voice and you rolled your eyes as you all headed out.

Once in the saddle, you shifted to allow Daryl to swing up behind you. You could feel every line of his body pressed against you and held your breath when he wrapped his arms around your waist.

"Relax." he whispered in your ear, and you shuttered again letting out a soft moan. He chuckled softly before sitting up straight to wave a Rick.

"Be careful!" Rick called again as you nudged Spartan forward.

Daryl's arms squeezed tighter as you head into the woods. You could feel this breath on the back of your neck and had to fight the urge to turn around and kiss him.

Something told you, you wouldn't be the first one back this time. And you were surprisingly okay with that.   

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SSOOOO??? What do we think?? And yes smut is on the horizon! Hope you all enjoyed it!


	11. Death of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bow-chicka-wow-wow!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about the long wait guys! School has been brutal and i have been busting my butt. On the bright side, I currently have all A's as of right now. Thank you all for being patient with me! You are awesome!!!!!!
> 
> ENJOY!
> 
> And please let me know what you think!! :)

**Chapter 11**

The feel of Daryl's arms around you was slowly driving you mad. You tried to keep your focus ahead, paying attention to where you were going but Daryl seemed determined to distract you. One hand remained on your hip while his other slowly crawled under the front of your shirt so he could rest his palm flat against your abdomen, thumb brushing against you in a soft and soothing rhythm. At least you assumed it would be soothing if it wasn't for the fact that your skin seemed to be oversensitive to his touch. 

Spartan slowed to a stop leaning down to graze knocking you out of your thoughts. Clucking you tongue and nudging him forward, you cleared your throat. "I don't think so boy."

To your horror, your voice came out raspy and low and you blushed when Daryl chuckled behind you. His hand continued across your stomach before grazing over the scar that resided there, and you froze. Your body tensed and you held your breath. Yes, you had shown him, but this was different. 

He noticed the change in mood immediately. "Hey," he spoke softly, lips grazing your ear. "Its okay." he squeezed your hip and you took a deep, shaky breath. As if to prove a point, he ran his fingers across the scar again, adding more pressure. Only this time your breath caught in your throat as he licked a long line up your neck before softly biting the lobe of your ear. 

Almost unconsciously your head leaned to the side giving him better access to your neck , which he took full advantage of. Daryl placed wet, open mouthed kisses down your neck before biting softly at the point where your neck met your shoulder and you let out a groan. 

Spartan huffed out and shook is head, almost as if he was laughing at you and you chuckled a bit before groaning louder as Daryl added more pressure with his teeth and trailing his hand up your ribs, cupping your left breast in his hand, squeezing softly. 

"You're making it hard to steer." You groaned out, though it wasn't a very convincing argument when you were arching your back and pushing your chest more firmly into his hand. 

"He knows where we're goin'." Daryl's deep voice sent heat flooding straight to your center, hips rocking back, rubbing into him. Daryl groaned, this time slipping his hand under the cup of your bra, pinching your hardened nipple and reaching his other hand to slide along your jaw, turning your face toward him and claiming your lips with his own. He ran his tongue along your lower lip asking for entrance, which you quickly granted. He tasted like smoke and whiskey and something that was uniquely Daryl. Your tongue eagerly met his and you both groaned at the sensation. 

As Daryl slid his hand to your neglected breast, he let his other trail slowly from your jaw down your body before stopping at the top of your jeans. A whimper escaped your throat, willing his hand lower to where you truly wanted it. Daryl broke the kiss, moving back far enough to look into your eyes. You could see the question in them and nodded, followed by a small "Please." 

He popped the button and slid the zipper down and you held your breath in anticipation. You leaned toward him trying to take his lips again, but he leaned back slightly before abruptly shoving his hand into your jeans and was met with your wet folds. A growl escaping him when he realized you weren't wearing panties. 

"So wet. Is this all for me Y/N?" You could hear his smirk and opened your mouth with a witty response, but it died on your lips as he slid a finger deep into your pussy. Your breath caught as he stretched you. 

 _Holy shit. This is happening. In a saddle, on my horse._ "Fuck!" you cry out as he simultaneously pumps his finger in and out of you while pinching your nipple harder. Your hips begin thrusting to meet his hand as small gasps and whimpers escape you. 

"That's it Y/N. Ride my hand baby." his voice only urged you closer to your peak. 

"Daryl." You whined desperately reaching down, squeezing his wrist, almost as if you were trying to hold him in place, afraid he may pull away.

"I know what you need. I've got you." He soothed. You leaned back into him resting your head on his shoulder, eyes closed and mouth open slightly.

Daryl added another finger and rubbed your clit with his thumb as his head turned towards you, lips resting on your temple.

"Please!" you cried desperately, voice cracking as his speed increased. You had lost all sense of awareness and had no idea if Spartan was even still moving. All you knew was that Daryl had his fingers deep inside you, are you were close.

"Look at me Y/N." Daryl growled. It took a great effort but you forced your eyes open and locked eyes with his dark ones. "Cum for me baby. Let go."

That was all it took. Your pussy contracted around his fingers and your mouth opened in a silent cry, followed by small whimpers and gasps for air and your body twitched.

"That's its baby. So good. God, you're hot when you cum." Daryl gradually eased his pace, working you though your orgasm. As you began to calm, he slid his hand up buttoning your pants, before wrapping his arms around you and holding you firmly, placing a sweet kiss to your shoulder. 

You could feel his arousal against your back and began to reach back. Daryl grabbed your hands stopping you and you glanced up at him with a confused look on your face.

"This one was for you." he spoke softly, placing a soft kiss to your lips, rubbing his nose affectionately against hers. "Besides, we're almost back."

Your eyes shot forward and you were surprised to see the farm house through the tree line. Daryl chuckled at your expression. "You were a bit distracted. Told you he knew where he was goin'."

You laughed openly, leaning further into him. You never would have pegged him for the affectionate type, but he was proving you wrong left and right.

"We will talk about this later?" you question uncertainly, not sure if this was a one time thing.

"I ain't lettin you go now girl." You smiled and placed one more kiss to his lips before breaking though the trees.

You were looking forward to later.    


	12. Uncertainty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You thought that things were looking up. Apparently that wasn't the case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a short chapter, but more will be coming soon. Its fall break this week so I will be taking advantage. There won't be anything new tomorrow because I have a double shift at work, but Sunday through Tuesday I intend to bust my but and get some chapters up! 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading!! And please leave your thoughts to let me know what you think and if its something that I should continue!

** Chapter 12 **

Maggie ran up to you and Daryl as you dismounted Spartan. She had a worried expression and she looked you over as if expecting something to be wrong. 

"You okay Mags?" you asked, confusion sounding in your voice. 

"What the hell took you guys so long?!" she growled, clearly annoyed that she was worried for nothing. "Dad and Rick have been back for nearly thirty minutes and I know for a fact cutting though the woods is a faster rout." 

You glance up to the porch where you see Hershel and Rick watching you with amused and knowing looks on their faces. You try to fight the heat you feel rushing to your face. 

"Oh, um, we ran into some walkers..." Wincing as you trailed off, hearing Rick snort before coughing to cover his laughter. You send a frustrated glare his way. Yeah, that clearly sounded just as unconvincing to their ears as is did yours. Unable to contain the blush rising to your cheeks any longer, you look away avoiding eye contact with Maggie. 

"Oh. My. Gosh!" Maggie gasped out. You knew you were busted. Sneaking a peek at her face, you watch as her eyes flick from you to Daryl and back. She searches your face intently for a moment, and apparently sees what she was looking for because a sly smile makes its way across her face. 

You look behind you to Daryl, who looked just as uncomfortable as you felt. When he notices you looking at him he simply stares and you, a blank expression on his face, before turning and walking to where he had set up his tent. You felt you stomach drop. You hadn't been expecting him to go shouting from the rooftop that you were together, he had said he wasn't letting you go. But now you felt like maybe that wasn't true. Maybe he was just talking in the heat of the moment.

"Daryl?" you call out after him, hurt coloring your tone. He didn't look back. 

"Daryl?" you call again, but once again met same result. Nothing. 

Your shoulders slump slightly and you clench your jaw, fighting back tears, before turning back to Maggie. When you to her, you can see the confusion all over her face and it sends your stomach in further knots. She reaches for your hand and pulls you into the house. When you pass Rick and Hershel, Rick is staring after Daryl, eyes simmering with what appears to be frustration and Hershel is watching you. The pity you see in his eyes is like a knife stabbing you in the gut and you rush past Maggie up to your room. You hear Maggie follow you, shutting the door behind her. 

"What the hell was that?" Maggie growled. You look up to her, finally letting your tears fall. 

_Crying? Twice in one day? What the hell is wrong with me?_ you think harshly. You didn't know how to deal with everything you were feeling. Maggie sat quietly waiting for an explanation.

"I guess he go what he wanted." you say softly, though you get annoyed with yourself when you voice crack on the last word.

"What exactly happened?" Maggie demands, wanting clarification. Taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you quickly explain what happened. Though you clearly didn't give her as much description as she wanted, judging by her facial expression. That alone started to make you feel a bit better. Maggie always did have her mind in the gutter. 

"So...he said that, but then completely blows you off?" she asks, voice almost too calm. You nod letting your head fall in defeat. 

_No one will ever want you._ A voice, sounding suspiciously like your foster father, hissed in your head and you flinched slightly at the phantom voice. 

"I'm gonna kick his ass." Maggie shot up so fast you almost didn't catch her at the door. 

"Stop it Mags. I'm fine. I'll deal with it." 

She glares at you and muster up a glare of your own. "Seriously Mags. I love you, but I'm a big girl. I can deal." 

You shake your head as if trying to shake the self doubt from your thoughts, before standing a little taller. "I clearly didn't mean anything to him. It was just a release. If we talk later like he said we would, then okay. If not, I'll just have to put on my big girl pants."

Maggie clearly wasn't pleased, but you held firm. Finally the tension in her frame lessened.

"Fine. But I reserve the right to glare at him viciously." You laugh loudly before pulling her into a hug.

"I supposed that's acceptable. Thanks Mags." You pull her back to sit on the bed and change the subject. "So tell me how things are going with your new boy toy?" you wiggle your eyebrows and grin as red floods her face. She then gushes about how much she thinks she likes Glenn and how she feels when hes around.

You're happy for her and trying to focus on what she is saying, but your mind continually drifts in and out of the conversation.

_No one will ever want you. You are worthless._ The voice continued to hiss in your mind. Maybe the old man was right. _Or at least the one I want doesn't want me._ You think bitterly. And man did accepting that hurt.  


End file.
